I think one of the crazy things about time is how magical and intimidating it can be at the same time. You realize the impact it has on you, and what it did have on you. You wish to change things to they could play out differently, but the way things happen were meant to be. And that’s what’s beautiful. Everything that has happened was meant to be. And it may not make sense now.. Or soon. But it will be. It always makes sense in the end.
The selfishness I encounter on a day like today. It appalls me knowing that a simple conversation leads to world war fucking 3. I find it hilarious that I don’t even intend on knowing about your personal life and what you’re up to, but you have the fucking audacity to go up my ass and tell me what to do? Last time I checked, we promised not to interfere with each other’s lives and be happy for one another and any possible relationship that happens. But guess fucking what? You’re stopping me from even having a simple friend back in my life and you get to do whatever the fuck you want and I have no say in it. Is that what you want? You’re a fucking walking contradiction and I hope you know that. You’re the biggest bitch ever and I can’t believe you ruined my Thanksgiving. Gth.
As time moves on, people move on. Tossing and turning at night wondering why things happen shouldn’t be happening. Worrying about others has been my problem for a while now. This year, my junior year, I need to focus on what matters most. Not boys, not relationships, but myself. I’ve noticed I closed myself off to a lot of opportunities due to my negativity on life, but that needs to stop. You’ll never be truly happy until you get over the biggest fear of all, the future. No matter what happens, it’s for the better. And I need to remember that. Be happy.
being at the obgyno and endless thoughts are rolling through my mind right now
I’m so anxious
tbh what am I doing, being with you all over again
S i g h
at least I’m happy sorta
who knew after this long, we’d end up like this?
so stupid young dumb love
just so dumb
One of my weaknesses are when someone puts so much time into you, and you give them everything you got.
Today was the kick off to my summer before our junior year, and I must say it was pretty damn amazing. I mean, from it raining to the sun slowly coming out and everyone getting bitten it was all good. Never playing “never have I ever” with my friends from school bc that just lead to bad things. But also better things.
Getting away from everyone to spend time with someone really means something when it’s only for 30 minutes to an hour. And honestly I never knew we’d make it this far bc honestly it’s been almost 18 months of us talking on and off. Getting caught was probably a bad thing. But who cares, it’s the summer, and it’s just me and him on this crazy ride :-)
Tbh wow I hope my summer doesn’t suck
seriously almost getting caught with you, spending 4 hours in the park, and you teaching me how to finally long board really made me realize that the simplest things make me happy.